Tuesday 15 May 2007

Fool's Paradise

Chapter Sixteen

On the last evening, in the main hall, the end of term dance did not excite The Dudes like it normally did. Considering the circumstances, it was hardly surprising. “I won’t be coming back next term.” These were first words that Kaye had spoken all evening. The Dudes was incredulous. “But why? You’re not going to get expelled. Everything’s over,” César said.
“No, it’s not, at least for me it’s not…and Imelda’s family.”
“What about us?” Theo wanted to know.
“You’ll always be my friends. That isn’t going to change, but I can’t continue to be here.”
“Surely, you don’t blame yourself for what happened to Imelda?” said Danston.
“Yes, I do. If I hadn’t slept with her, she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant and she’d still be alive today.” Laura squeezed Kaye’s hand, “What you say is true, but its happened. Beating yourself over it won’t make it better. Believe me I know. With time, you will learn to forgive yourself like I did.”

Across the room, Juliana watched The Dudes. She walked towards them and they tensed when they noticed her approach, bracing themselves for a confrontation. She raised her hands in a gesture of peace. “Look, I won’t pretend that I’m not angry, but I wanted to assure you all that you have nothing to fear from me. Kaye, I see now that you were not directly responsible for Imelda’s death, but as irrational as it may seem, it will take me a while to forgive you.”
“It will take a while to forgive myself,” Kaye said. He then turned and walked away.
Suzanne caught up with him at the door. “Kaye, I’m sorry.” Puzzled, Kaye asked why. “For what you must be going through.” Kaye smiled for the first time, it was an ironic smile, “You truly amaze me; I should be the one apologising for betraying your trust.”
“Maybe I’m a fool, but all I know is that I still love you and if you ever need me for anything, I’ll be there.” Kaye was shaking his head in wonderment, “The funny thing is that I know you mean it. A word of advice though, forget about me, you deserve someone better.”
“Like I said, I’m a fool…a fool for you. You will remember that because I won’t let you forget.” Kaye watched her walk away and he too turned and walked away, out the door.
Laura, who had followed Suzanne, squeeze her shoulder, “With time, Suzanne, he will learn to forgive himself as I am learning to do.” Suzanne smiled at Laura and said, “They say that life is a battlefield. This is just one more battle to be won.”

James Adonnes tried to enjoy himself but things were not the same without Anthony there to bug him. Why did the boy have to go and have himself expelled? James felt that he should have been more insistent about Anthony changing his life style. First, he had been willing to go along with Anthony’s foibles and when he put his own life on track, he had been willing to accept Anthony's idiosyncrasies. What a friend he’d turned out to be, James thought to himself even when he knew at the back of his mind that one could only do and say so much to someone.

Kamal approached Cassandra who was standing with Maureen in a corner. Maureen moved away. Cassandra couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “César had a talk with me the other day. What he had to say made a lot of sense but I wish that it had come from you.”
“I guess I was too much of a coward.”
“So, where do we go from here?”
“You tell me.”
“To be honest, I’m not sure. Maybe we need some time apart. I’m not sure I’m ready for something as intense as what we’ve had. We’re too young to be dealing with issues that we both find overwhelming.” Kamal turned and walked away. Maureen came and put her arms around her crying friend. “Why do I feel so sad even if I agree with him?”
“You’ve experienced something beautiful and even if you’re both too young to deal with it and realised that it overwhelmed you, you’re still reluctant to let go.”
Cassandra pulled away from Maureen and looked at her incredulously, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Wow, you’re singing a different song. What happened to the ‘devil may care’ Maureen that I used to know?”
“She learnt some hard lessons from you’re experience and Imelda’s death. Life isn’t always what it seems and shouldn’t be taken for granted.”
“Yeah, I hear you…We’re young, we’ll make it if we keep learning from life’s lessons.” Maureen burst into laughter, “We sound like a couple of wizened spinsters who’ve realised that we’re going to die old maids!” Cassandra chuckled along with her, “Trust you to come up with something like that.”

The term ended on a sour note for The Dudes. Alex was berating himself for being too hard on Imelda. “Maybe, if I’d given in to her she would still be alive.”
“You know, that’s exactly what Suzanne said, but like I told her, you did what you thought you needed to do,” said César, “If anything, I’m the one who didn’t do what I needed to do.”
“What do you mean?” Danston wanted to know, “You sorted out your issues with Laura. In fact, you’re a living example of turning one’s life around.”
“I agree with Danston,” Theo added, “And you’ve always had time for all of us. As a matter of fact, although you guys along the way pointed out in your own way that the universe did not revolve around me, it was you César, who drove it home. You did what you could for Kaye.”
“Maybe it wasn’t enough,” César muttered. Danston put a hand on César’s shoulder, “No, we’re all responsible for our own actions. To tell you the truth, I think this is a lesson for all of us. The recklessness of youth no longer has a place in my life. Imelda’s death has had a sobering effect on me. I have been living in a fool’s paradise.” The others nodded their agreement.

▲ ▲ ▲

Fool's Paradise

Chapter Fifteen

It was the last day of term when the Head Boy, Morgan Mushega, walked into Danston’s room and found César playing a game of cards with Danston. It was an intense game and it wasn’t until Morgan plopped himself on the bed that they noticed they had company. The forlorn expression on Morgan’s face prompted Danston to ask what the matter was. “Our friend’s in dogs,” Morgan said.
“Who?” Danston wanted to know.
“Kaye.”
“What did Kaye do?” asked César.
“He got Imelda pregnant.”
“What!” the two friends exclaimed in unison.
“But I thought you knew, César, I mean with the way Kaye was always confiding in you. Well, anyway, Imelda’s doing badly. Apparently, she tried to abort the pregnancy herself, using some crude method. The Headmaster has taken her to the hospital.”
“How did you find out?” César was curious.
“Juliana found her in one of the bathrooms, bleeding. She called the Head Girl who then sent her for me. Imelda wouldn’t say who was responsible for getting her pregnant, but Juliana later told us that Imelda had confided in her about sleeping with Kaye.”

Morgan stood up to leave. “I thought you guys should know because you’re his buddies, but don’t let him know. We want to sort out Imelda’s mess first.” The two friends nodded, too stunned to say anything. When Morgan was gone, he said to César, “Did you know anything about this?” César shook his head, “I had my suspicions that he was up to something shady, but I was also under the same assumption as you guys that he was chowing Suzanne, although I had my doubts because Suzanne was dead set against it. You see Kaye was desperate to lose his virginity…” Danston raised a brow, which César noticed, “…Yeah, I know it comes as a surprise. Anyway, Kaye was desperate to sleep with Suzanne and Imelda wanted Alex badly. I suppose they got together…with disastrous results.” The two friends sat in silence for a while.

In walked Kaye, Alex and Theo. They wanted to know why their friends looked so downtrodden. César just stood up and left the room. “What’s his problem?” Theo asked. Danston made a dismissive gesture and asked if anyone wanted a game of cards.

♣ ♣ ♣

César was standing underneath a tree, waiting for Juliana, whom he had just sent for. After a few moments of waiting impatiently, he saw her coming from girl’s end. She looked distressed and his heart went out to her. She stopped where he was standing but she didn’t look at him at first. Then she looked up and César was taken aback by the hostility on her face. “What do you want?”
“I wanted to talk to you about Imelda and Kaye.”
“I knew you were in on their deal!”
“Don’t talk nonsense! You’re the one who’s always going on about people making assumptions about you and now you’re doing the same thing.” César took a breath to calm himself down.

“I heard about Imelda and the fact that you found her. I just wanted to see how you were holding up.”
Juliana assessed him a moment, “You really didn’t know what was going on?”
“No. I was surprised to find out that Kaye was sleeping with Imelda. How’s Suzanne taking it?”
“She doesn’t know, poor thing. I can’t wait until they expel the bastard!”
“Why?”
“Because he doesn’t deserve to be in the school!”
“Okay, again I ask, why?”
“Because of what he did to Imelda!”
“What did he do to Imelda?”
“What’s wrong with you? He got her pregnant!”
“Like she didn’t have anything with it?”

Juliana paused as she assessed César once again. “I should have known that you would take his side.” There was venom in her voice. César’s voice was the same when he said, “There you go making assumptions again. Let me tell you something, Juliana, get off your high horse and see the light. Both of them are equally to blame. It takes two to tango. Now, instead of telling Kaye that she’s pregnant so that they could work something out, Imelda decided to take matters into her own hands. Kaye’s real crime was sleeping with her when he had a girlfriend. So, tell me, what will César’s expulsion achieve? You may not like it but Imelda was responsible for her own actions.” Juliana glared at him then turned on her heel and stormed off. César sighed as he watched her go; the girl was determined to put the blame squarely on Kaye.

Morgan caught up with César as he was heading back to Ouagadougou. César noticed his facial expression, “She didn’t make it, did she?” Morgan slowly shook his head, “She was announced dead on arrival.”
“Damn!”
“There was too much internal bleeding. In her desperation to get rid of the foetus, she did some serious damage to herself.”
“So what happens now?”
“Kaye will be expelled.”
“And is that going to bring her back?”
“César, I’m sorry, but that’s the way it is.”
“But does it have to be?” The bitterness in César’s voice silenced Morgan as he watched him walk away, looking dejected.

Suzanne Aseya hurried to catch up with César. She took hold of his arm and turned him to face her, there were tears in her eyes. “Is it true?” César just nodded. “I didn’t want to believe it when Juliana told me. If only I had known how desperate he was, I would have given him what he wanted.” César was shaking his head, “No, Suzanne, you did what you felt was right. You stuck to your principles. That was a wise decision to make.”
“So what now?”
“It looks like César will be expelled.”
“I see.”
“I wish I did.” And with that, César walked off.

♣ ♣ ♣

Kaye sat with his head in his hands as tears rolled down his cheeks. He rocked himself gently as he absorbed the shock. He kept on mumbling, “Why?” His friends felt his agony but were at loss at what to do.

After parting with Suzanne, César had rejoined his friends in Danston’s room. One look at him and Danston had known that the situation had worsened. Sensing the uneasiness, their friends had demanded to know what was going on and César had obliged. In the stunned silence that had followed, Kaye had broken down. “I should have listened to you, César,” he had said repeatedly. Theo put a reassuring hand on his shoulder but it was of little comfort. The others looked on, helpless.

By now St Andrew’s College was abuzz with the news of Imelda. Aida found Morgan coming out of the Headmaster’s office. “The man is on the warpath,” he told her. She said, “Do you blame him? You know we should tell him about Kaye.” Morgan shook his head and said no. “What! Are you crazy?” With a gesture for patience, Morgan said, “Look, Aida, I know you’re mad about what’s going on, but think about it. What has he really done other than cheat on his girlfriend? From what I understand their having sex was mutual. Juliana told you that Imelda had gone to her for condoms because Kaye hadn’t wanted to go to his friends…” Aida conceded to the fact, “…but they must have been defective or she lied and had also been sleeping with someone else. Kaye confirms that they did indeed use condoms…the boy is going to live with the fact that he may have had a hand in Imelda’s death. Is that not punishment enough?”

Aida was silent a moment. “To be honest, no. He had no business having sex in school. I know, I know, she was also to blame, but I believe an example has to be made then kids will think twice before they jump into bed with anyone.”
“Ordinarily I would agree with you, but Kaye is my friend and he isn’t a bad person. Please Aida, in the past I’ve done you favours, do me this favour.” Aida sighed, “Okay, as much as I’m against it, I’ll drop the matter.” Morgan took a deep breath, “Thank you.”
“What about Juliana? She believes very strongly in Kaye’s expulsion. She might go to the Headmaster herself.” Morgan said earnestly, “Make her see that it won’t improve matters. As righteous as she’s feeling right now, she will not be helping anyone.”
“I’m not making any promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”