Wednesday 6 August 2008
Observations
The story below is an excerpt from a book I'm writing. I thought I'd post it and see what feedback I get because I may be wasting my time.
Rising of the Sun
Kiinjo’s birthday was approaching it’s eighteenth season of the Grand Harvest and his father was hinting more that it was time he found himself a bride, someone suitable. Kiinjo spent much of his time fantasising about Aqwezi. Through Koreta, their love for one another grew. Soon Kiinjo found a lull in his itinerary. He arranged to meet with Aqwezi by the hidden stream.
Kiinjo found her sitting alone, arms wrapped around her legs, chin resting on knees. He took in the smooth velvety skin that was a certain shade of mahogany and he had an incredible urge to touch it. He noticed her dreamy expression, with a hint of a smile on those full, sensuous lips and wondered what he had done to deserve the attention of this magnificent woman. Her companions frolicked about in the water, basking in the radiance of a woman in love. They saw the approach of Kiinjo and Manu and the excitement increased. Manu hung back as Kiinjo continued towards Aqwezi.
She saw him walk towards her but thought it was all part of her fantasy. It was not until he was towering over her that it dawned on her that he was not a figment of her imagination. Aqwezi screeched in delight and flung herself at him. Then she quickly remembered her breeding and disentangled herself from him, apologising for her manners. Kiinjo was amused by her display of affection and did not see the need for an apology. He liked her spontaneity and told her as much. This made her smile. It warmed his heart to see those dimples. He hoped that he would always be able to make them appear.
Aqwezi had longed for so long to see him again. She was beside herself with excitement. He was exactly as she remembered him. The same resonant voice, the quiet dignity and the heart stopping smile. Kiinjo took her hand and sat her down. Still holding her hand he looked deeply into her almond shaped brown eyes that had the longest lashes he had ever seen. All that he wanted to say escaped him. That was all right with her, she knew him as a man who spoke few words and was content to just sit next to him. Besides he had already conveyed an eloquence that was truly a delight through his artist, Koreta, who assured her that the words delivered through him were his master’s.
Manu sat quietly on a slope observing all that was taking place. It pleased him to see his friend so happy. The man had spent month after hectic month trudging up and down the kingdom solving one problem after another. It was obvious to all that the young prince was a leader to be reckoned with, and from the stories that were circulating around, a lover of first-class repute; of course to Manu there were more than just stories, he often facilitated these meetings. Invariably, these girls always hoped to be Kiinjo’s future bride but it was out of the question. They were there to provide entertainment and nothing else.
Manu noticed a young lady watching him. She smiled sweetly and he smiled back then turned away to continue his observations. When she came into his line of vision again he found that she was still watching him. For a second time she smiled. It would seem the young lady had an interest in him. She moved away from her companions and walked up to him. She handed him a gourd filled with water. Thanking her, he took it and drank. When he was finished she did not move from his side. She was a bold one. Manu liked that. “What is your name?” he asked her. “Muliika. And I know yours is Manu.” Manu flashed her a smile, “And how did you know that?” She looked at him askance. “Yours and Kiinjo’s names are on the lips of everyone. Your bravery and ability to solve problems are well known. Only one person refuses to acknowledge this though.”
“Who might that be?”
“Chief Asena, Aqwezi’s father.” This little piece of information stunned Manu right to the core of his being. This was disastrous. Kiinjo planned on making Aqwezi his bride.
Seeing his distress Muliika touched his arm. “I did not mean to cause you such grief. I wish I had kept my big mouth shut,” she said.
“No, no,” Manu assured her, “Please do not blame yourself for any wrong doing. It is good that you spoke of this. Do not worry yourself; you have diverted what would have otherwise been a disastrous occurrence.” Muliika gave him a puzzled look but Manu did not elaborate.
On the way back home Manu recounted what Muliika had told him. Kiinjo was distressed by the news, understandably so. He had invested much hope in the belief that he would have Aqwezi for his bride only to have it shattered by the news that she was the daughter of his father’s archenemy. They pondered on it awhile and came to the conclusion that they would keep his love a secret until they came up with a solution.
♣ ♣ ♣
The dancers performed with great enthusiasm as the drummers beat energetically on their drums, trying to regain the Chief’s attention. Chief Amanii was restless once again. He had noticed Kiinjo’s preoccupation and rightly assumed it had to do with his up coming marriage, but he was tired of waiting for the boy to sort himself out. If he did not present his intended bride soon, then he would have to take matters into his own hands, as he should have done in the first place.
The Chief did not understand why his son was procrastinating; there were plenty of suitable young ladies all clamouring to be his wife. Chief Amanii sighed as he changed position on his throne. The only reason he had allowed the young prince to search for his own bride was because his wife had begged him to and Omara, his Chief Elder, had cited that his father had also extended the same courtesy to him. The Chief sighed once again, so much for being benevolent.
A loud shriek as the singers burst into song brought the Chief back to the morning’s entertainment. An antic from one of the dancers brought a smile to Chief Amanii’s face and a collective sigh swept through the throne room, it was going to be a good day after all.
♣ ♣ ♣
At the hidden stream, Manu watched Kiinjo lob pebbles into the clear water. Kiinjo did not know what to do. The one thing he wanted most, he could not have. He knew that marriage to Aqwezi would be his ultimate fulfilment. The situation needed to be resolved, but a satisfactory solution was proving to be elusive.
Kiinjo suddenly jumped up and started restlessly pacing up and down the bank of the stream. “This just cannot go on!” Manu said nothing; this outburst had become commonplace with Kiinjo. “I have to tell Father,” said Kiinjo as he stopped pacing and looked at his friend. Manu raised a casual brow, “Tell him what? That you have chosen the daughter of his enemy for your bride? Kiinjo, let’s be realistic. Your father and Chief Asena have sustained a feud that goes back several generations; no one even knows what sparked it off in the first place.”
“My point precisely!” Kiinjo cut in, “Why should my father let some senseless vendetta stand in the way of my happiness? If I made him see that Aqwezi and I are in love with each other then he would understand the futility of this hatred. Our marriage would go a long way in healing the relationship between the two chiefs.”
After a brief silence, Manu said, “Assuming that you are right and you can convince Chief Amanii to accept your choice of bride, what makes you think that Chief Asena will see it the same way? Kiinjo, this is a deep-seated hatred that has become so irrational, no amount of common sense will sway the two chiefs. You also have to take into account that it is not so much your happiness that is at stake but the pride of the Chief and in extension, the pride of the kingdom. I will be honest with you, my friend; I do not see your father bowing to your wishes. As hard as it may seem, you would do well to forget Aqwezi and find yourself another bride."
“Never!” Kiinjo cried, “It is the one thing that I know I could never find in myself to do.”
“So then, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but somehow this issue has to be resolved satisfactorily.” Kiinjo was not to know that the matter was already out of his hands.
Kiinjo found her sitting alone, arms wrapped around her legs, chin resting on knees. He took in the smooth velvety skin that was a certain shade of mahogany and he had an incredible urge to touch it. He noticed her dreamy expression, with a hint of a smile on those full, sensuous lips and wondered what he had done to deserve the attention of this magnificent woman. Her companions frolicked about in the water, basking in the radiance of a woman in love. They saw the approach of Kiinjo and Manu and the excitement increased. Manu hung back as Kiinjo continued towards Aqwezi.
She saw him walk towards her but thought it was all part of her fantasy. It was not until he was towering over her that it dawned on her that he was not a figment of her imagination. Aqwezi screeched in delight and flung herself at him. Then she quickly remembered her breeding and disentangled herself from him, apologising for her manners. Kiinjo was amused by her display of affection and did not see the need for an apology. He liked her spontaneity and told her as much. This made her smile. It warmed his heart to see those dimples. He hoped that he would always be able to make them appear.
Aqwezi had longed for so long to see him again. She was beside herself with excitement. He was exactly as she remembered him. The same resonant voice, the quiet dignity and the heart stopping smile. Kiinjo took her hand and sat her down. Still holding her hand he looked deeply into her almond shaped brown eyes that had the longest lashes he had ever seen. All that he wanted to say escaped him. That was all right with her, she knew him as a man who spoke few words and was content to just sit next to him. Besides he had already conveyed an eloquence that was truly a delight through his artist, Koreta, who assured her that the words delivered through him were his master’s.
Manu sat quietly on a slope observing all that was taking place. It pleased him to see his friend so happy. The man had spent month after hectic month trudging up and down the kingdom solving one problem after another. It was obvious to all that the young prince was a leader to be reckoned with, and from the stories that were circulating around, a lover of first-class repute; of course to Manu there were more than just stories, he often facilitated these meetings. Invariably, these girls always hoped to be Kiinjo’s future bride but it was out of the question. They were there to provide entertainment and nothing else.
Manu noticed a young lady watching him. She smiled sweetly and he smiled back then turned away to continue his observations. When she came into his line of vision again he found that she was still watching him. For a second time she smiled. It would seem the young lady had an interest in him. She moved away from her companions and walked up to him. She handed him a gourd filled with water. Thanking her, he took it and drank. When he was finished she did not move from his side. She was a bold one. Manu liked that. “What is your name?” he asked her. “Muliika. And I know yours is Manu.” Manu flashed her a smile, “And how did you know that?” She looked at him askance. “Yours and Kiinjo’s names are on the lips of everyone. Your bravery and ability to solve problems are well known. Only one person refuses to acknowledge this though.”
“Who might that be?”
“Chief Asena, Aqwezi’s father.” This little piece of information stunned Manu right to the core of his being. This was disastrous. Kiinjo planned on making Aqwezi his bride.
Seeing his distress Muliika touched his arm. “I did not mean to cause you such grief. I wish I had kept my big mouth shut,” she said.
“No, no,” Manu assured her, “Please do not blame yourself for any wrong doing. It is good that you spoke of this. Do not worry yourself; you have diverted what would have otherwise been a disastrous occurrence.” Muliika gave him a puzzled look but Manu did not elaborate.
On the way back home Manu recounted what Muliika had told him. Kiinjo was distressed by the news, understandably so. He had invested much hope in the belief that he would have Aqwezi for his bride only to have it shattered by the news that she was the daughter of his father’s archenemy. They pondered on it awhile and came to the conclusion that they would keep his love a secret until they came up with a solution.
♣ ♣ ♣
The dancers performed with great enthusiasm as the drummers beat energetically on their drums, trying to regain the Chief’s attention. Chief Amanii was restless once again. He had noticed Kiinjo’s preoccupation and rightly assumed it had to do with his up coming marriage, but he was tired of waiting for the boy to sort himself out. If he did not present his intended bride soon, then he would have to take matters into his own hands, as he should have done in the first place.
The Chief did not understand why his son was procrastinating; there were plenty of suitable young ladies all clamouring to be his wife. Chief Amanii sighed as he changed position on his throne. The only reason he had allowed the young prince to search for his own bride was because his wife had begged him to and Omara, his Chief Elder, had cited that his father had also extended the same courtesy to him. The Chief sighed once again, so much for being benevolent.
A loud shriek as the singers burst into song brought the Chief back to the morning’s entertainment. An antic from one of the dancers brought a smile to Chief Amanii’s face and a collective sigh swept through the throne room, it was going to be a good day after all.
♣ ♣ ♣
At the hidden stream, Manu watched Kiinjo lob pebbles into the clear water. Kiinjo did not know what to do. The one thing he wanted most, he could not have. He knew that marriage to Aqwezi would be his ultimate fulfilment. The situation needed to be resolved, but a satisfactory solution was proving to be elusive.
Kiinjo suddenly jumped up and started restlessly pacing up and down the bank of the stream. “This just cannot go on!” Manu said nothing; this outburst had become commonplace with Kiinjo. “I have to tell Father,” said Kiinjo as he stopped pacing and looked at his friend. Manu raised a casual brow, “Tell him what? That you have chosen the daughter of his enemy for your bride? Kiinjo, let’s be realistic. Your father and Chief Asena have sustained a feud that goes back several generations; no one even knows what sparked it off in the first place.”
“My point precisely!” Kiinjo cut in, “Why should my father let some senseless vendetta stand in the way of my happiness? If I made him see that Aqwezi and I are in love with each other then he would understand the futility of this hatred. Our marriage would go a long way in healing the relationship between the two chiefs.”
After a brief silence, Manu said, “Assuming that you are right and you can convince Chief Amanii to accept your choice of bride, what makes you think that Chief Asena will see it the same way? Kiinjo, this is a deep-seated hatred that has become so irrational, no amount of common sense will sway the two chiefs. You also have to take into account that it is not so much your happiness that is at stake but the pride of the Chief and in extension, the pride of the kingdom. I will be honest with you, my friend; I do not see your father bowing to your wishes. As hard as it may seem, you would do well to forget Aqwezi and find yourself another bride."
“Never!” Kiinjo cried, “It is the one thing that I know I could never find in myself to do.”
“So then, what are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, but somehow this issue has to be resolved satisfactorily.” Kiinjo was not to know that the matter was already out of his hands.
Observations
Street Boy is my stab at poetry. I like to find different ways to express my observation of society.
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